dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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