you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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