I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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