didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
