Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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