I wish i was in the wii world.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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