yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
