Soap is not a condiment
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize