Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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