had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
