She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
