Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
