we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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