I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I believe in your delicious
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