remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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