So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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