So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
