I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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