oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
