there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize