What a fucking waste of an outfit
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
