is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
