There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
