I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize