I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Say something about gay babies.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Randomize
