i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We are two peas in an std pod
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
