my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
