booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
