'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
