Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize