Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
