its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
