i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
