I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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