I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
