I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
