More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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