apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
