If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My balls are so social today.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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