don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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