he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
