so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
