There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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