Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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