Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
