the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
