You smell like stripper and shame
Even the bartender felt bad for me
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
