I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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