Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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