she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize