forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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