Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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