Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
