dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize