I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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