did you get engaged???
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
