before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
