so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just found puke in my bra..
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
