why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
