She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
