They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I could make wine with my vomit
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
