Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
